For I did not speak of my own accord, but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say and how to say it. - Jesus (John 12:49)

This is Jesus talking. God's son, God incarnated - and He wasn't His own. He came to do the will of His Father, His Father's will overrated His.

How many times we think we know better than the One who made us. Maybe the excuses of our fearful heart is that "well, God is up there, I am down here dealing with the situation" 

I have recently ended a painful 2-year court battle for my son's custody. On those two years, I have cried to God, fought with God, surrender to God, fought with God again. On those two years I have taken the wheel and my excuse is the protection of my little one. But God in all his mercy reminded me that He is the author, He is still in charge and nothing is happening that He doesn't have full knowledge of, and that I need to trust Him - guess what? that works! When I reluctantly let go, that's when things un-raveled and worked!

Gosh it hurt though! Many times I feel that there is not justice, that it was done wrong. The truth is, I walk with a blind spot, I don't see it all, but God does, I have to rely on His sight. Not easy, but necessary, and that is an everyday reminder. 

How about you? Have you not been your own lately?

one

Many of you who know me know the type of personality I have. Sometimes I giggle for no reason at all. Sometimes I am quiet, most times I am not. Yes, I consider myself weird and a little off - one thing I know though, that I am pretty much like you, I have things bottled up inside that I just want to get out. I crave encouragement. I want / need a safe place to vent. Many of those "bottled-up" paradoxes contain the question "why?" Why now? why this way? why me? why you? 

We are not meant to have all the answers - we, as humans cannot handle it - but we are given the freedom to ask.

Our Father in Heaven (whether you believe in Him or not, is not what's up for discussion now) has given us the feedom to ask. He can handle the questions and wants us to have answers, those answers may not be what we want, but definetely what we need.

Let's bring up questions, bible passages, news, challenging ideas. Let's be real. Let's not hide our heads in the ground and ignore the world around us. Having a reality dose doesn't mean we are to loose hope or live in fear, but to keep on walking with a heart full of truth, that will move us forward.

There is no room for judgement, but sharing in love and respect.

Juliana